Up side down or down side up?

Saturday, February 28, 2004



Warmth of the morning sun is helping me to see what a beautiful place this is.

Thursday, February 26, 2004



Tuesday, February 24, 2004


Down Tuesday

It should have been obvious. There is a reason for Blue Monday. Blue Monday leaves the possibility for the week to get better. I felt like a good Monday must be the sign of a really good week. But, no. Tuesday came crashing down. And there was no clearly defined reason or cause--just a dull cloudy, gloomy feeling. And that was followed up with a nice dose of crud. I kept my eye out for something I could blame. There had to be some occurrence, some justification, but it never made itself known. This Tuesday was devious enough to reach back to Monday for items to twist & turn and destroy. I was unprepared and unable to protect my Great Monday. I'm scrambling, looking for a way to keep this bad Tuesday from spilling over to Wednesday. I am feeling the negative part of every situation, every interaction. Smiles, frowns, comments, silence have all taken sides against me. Tonight I'm thinking I have no choice but to give this up and move back to Southern California. More thoughts are saying it will do no good to move. But I have to do something. I'll battle this out in my dreams. There must be something undone that is causing this upset. I'll search for the answer.


This Couldn't Have Been Monday

Now I feel guilty. I made it through Monday and it was actually one of the best Monday's I have ever had. Bought a pickup in the morning. I must say, I'm not even entirely sure what it looks like--kind of generic, work truck type. But it's got a giant V8! I cruised up toward the Columbia and somehow got side-tracked and missed my appointment. I sort of accidently but willingly got lost. I didn't care. I care now, but I didn't care then. I'll have to find a way to explain away my loss of time. It really wasn't a loss. I loved it. This whole day has become fuzzy. I wonder if I will awake in the morning I wonder what the hell I was thinking. No, I managed to cheat the dredgery for one day. It was worth the guilt.

Sunday, February 22, 2004


Stop Copying My Template!

As I've been looking around the web, though at first flattered, I started becoming irratated that about 15% of the blogs I read look just like mine! Inside myself I began thinking they were mocking me, stealing my blog look! How DARE THEY! All of my creativeness is being stolen. Now I know how the musicians, song writers, publishers, software developers, photographers, artists, and everybody else feel when I steal their stuff. ---Oh, wait a minute, now I remember, I just used a stock Blogger Template. I guess that accounts for the 15% since there are only 7 to choose from. Pretend I didn't say all of that--and no, I'm not paranoid...


Which Way?

Which, I wonder, is better: to depart with old one-way feelings and move on looking for some new feelings to grow--forcing when necessary; or, cling to old feelings, one-way as they may be, as long as they continue to remain a force embedded in all thought--and also knowing that those feelings have very well evolved beyond what they ever were in this recurring reality?

Saturday, February 21, 2004


Death Test

Ok, got the EATing thing done with, and after thinking about my diet, I took the DEATH TEST. It said, "I'm afraid we have some bad news. Please, you might want to stay seated." It stated that I would die on July 27, 2035 of a heart attack! Now that is bad news, I already new about the heart attack but I had no idea I would have to be around sooo long! Just the thought of that is enough to give me a heart attack right now!


Stir Crazy

I just don't know how long I am going to last with this transfer. They insisted it would be a good break for me, a nice change of pace, but if it were not for this link to the rest of the world, I'd of jumped off the bridge long ago. My new favorite place to eat says "EAT" on the roof. Even McDonalds is 10 miles away. Now, not that "EAT" is a bad place, it's just EVERYDAY!. Sometimes twice a day. It's less than 30 degrees F. I know that's nothing to most but I'm just not used to it. When they said "transfer" I was thinking maybe a new city--something exciting. My mind is playing tricks on me. I saw her three times on Friday--and she's nowhere even close to this region! Maybe I'll just stick it out. I could get a couple of dogs. I could take up fishing and become an outdoorsman, I guess. A fireplace--that would make things more livable. My car, its just not a fit here, either. I'm thinking maybe a pickup truck--something I don't have to worry about keeping clean. Yeah, I'll go look tomorrow for a truck. Then I'll do a search and see what kind of dogs I can get that will get along with each other and me. Should they ride in the cab or in the bed? So many decisions. Guess I'll go get something to EAT.



Yeah, so it was nonsignificant--less than 2.0. I felt it nonetheless. I must have been in just the right spot on just the right surface to magnify the intensity. Nobody else even noticed. They laughed and said one of the cows farted! turns out I was right! Of course it probably could have gone without me making a big deal out of it. Sometimes things are that way: they seem more serious than they are. I guess it works the other way around as well...

Monday, February 16, 2004



Wow, I've now been doing this just long enough to see some of my first posts get removed from the first page and on to the archives (haven't messed with the default settings). I at first thought, well what if I actually do some bit of writing I like? It will disappear. Hmmm, this then would be a good thing for all of the things I write for which I am less than pleased. It is forgiving. It says that things can get better with time. Of course, in order for things to get better, you have to get better. Your past mistakes and your accomplishments fade away. Oh, they are still there should one prefer to look them up--you can't escape your past and, likewise, you can't rest on your past merits, but you sure can try to make your present self as positive as possible. Our lives are works in progress. How else could it be? We learn from our mistakes.

Sunday, February 15, 2004


Beautiful Day!

An incredible day it was today.

There is somewhat of an art form required to stay in the conversation on some of the comment boxes at some of the higher traffic sites. When several people are commenting, the conversation begins getting emotionally charged and by the time I have given thought to my answer and posted, the subject has shifted and my comment is out of place. I guess people just fire away with their thoughts. Shoot from the hip. Or, I guess I am just too slow!!! Yeah--slow like honey, heavy with mood...


Selective Memory Loss?

It could be there is something my pc does not want to remember. It passes all of the diagnostic tests. Maybe there is some survival feature built into it that prevents it from maintaining a constant memory. Maybe it fears remembering?

Saturday, February 14, 2004



Well, given enough testing, the HP Omnibook failed. It is back to the same old problem.



Finally, I got the notebook back and it seems as though they actually fixed it! There was seemingly a problem with the memory module. Of course, everytime I send it in, they blank out the drive so I have to spend considerable time reinstalling programs and the like. As is evidenced by my blog, I have no information or created documents that are worthy of saving. But nonetheless, I went out and got a backup hard drive so I won't lose any more of my worthless, deserved to be lost anyway, "work".

I wonder what is the average life span of a blog. Blogging is a bit like working out. It is very difficult to make it a part of the routine. At first it is like a new toy or a New Year's resolution or a new diet or, well anything new for that matter. But once the new car smell wears off, it's importance often fades. What are the keys to keeping up a weblog? For those that have to worry about keeping up a professional site full of valuable content, I would think that there is simply no substitute for lots of hard work. For those of us who want a place to excercise our language skills (?) and maybe post some thoughts, I would think simply posting something, anything as frequently as possible would allow us to become more familiar with improving our language and communication skills.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004


Mission Accomplished!!!

Incredible! I am famous if even for a brief moment. The full text of my first critical review by Whose Shake Is This!!?":

"But it never nice mood is brought crashing down by a poem about Coffee. Find it, if you dare, at: DownSydUp. Now I will give the person props for talking and commenting about other Blogs, and evidently she checks out the Fresh Blogs, just as I do. But that poem.............brrrrrrrrrrrr the horror!!"

First I'd like to thank God for giving me the opportunity to do the work I so enjoy, my mother & father for ... on second thought, I'll follow Andre 3000's lead and just say, STANK YOU!!!


Could Have Been

I forgot to buy my lucky tickets today. Today is the day when they should have been bought. I can safely say that had I bought them today, I would be merrily on my the bank! But no, I decided I had more important things to tend to. Oh well, things would have been different, but since most things I know of are relative, things are different--well that is in comparison to how they could've been.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004



Sharks have two eyes. All beings with two eyes are sharks.

Monday, February 09, 2004


My Reward

God must have glanced at my past couple of blogs and decided that I was overstepping my bounds and forgetting my place. Today I was rewarded with a ROOTCANAL! Knives, scrapers, needles, files, grinders, sprayers, vacuumers, x-rays, bite-blocks, stitches, tooth dust & cement. I did not get any pain pills, I paid $650 (beyond my insurance coverage) and I missed 1/2 day of work. Have you ever had that shot that goes through the roof of your mouth? When I look back a couple of blogs ago to Sunday I see that it really is all a conspiracy. 1 dozen Krispy Kremes? I should have seen it coming.



your quickened steps were noted
oh so slick is your little game
to this position you weren't voted
stop now or you'll get the blame

I'm looking for someone to fire...




Sunday, February 08, 2004





Just One More!!!

It's just too easy. You can drive up and order Krispy Kreme doughnuts! I tried to order only 6, but the Krispy Kreme Hat Wearing person at the other end of the electronically extended voice convinced me that it would be a better deal to get a dozen! They didn't ask how many people I was feeding these doughnuts to, they just told be that it would cost $4.74 for 1/2 dozen whereas a full dozen would cost only $5.99! "Okay, make it a full dozen!" I surrendered.
"We're now serving Krispy Kreme Original Glazed fresh & hot by the dozen! How many dozen would you like?"
"Yes, I already said make it a dozen." I guess they are required to make that statement even if they have already made the sale. I am seriously considering eating the full dozen. You know, these doughnuts are much smaller than other donuts. I mean, it practically takes three to make one regular sized donut. So eating 12 would be like eating only 4! And, today is Sunday. This is the day when I can eat doughnuts, isn't it? So what if I screw up my sugar/insulin balance. It will be back to normal by Wednesday. Plus, what's the use in having them fresh & hot if you don't eat them when they are fresh & hot? I'm sure the doughnut people must know that it is okay for one person to eat a full dozen or else they wouldn't be pushing the sale, right? If they were bad for you, they would make you be a certain age and then card you when you went to buy them, right? No, they let kids buy these so they must be good for you.
They are good. Hmmm. Yummmm. Goooooood...

Saturday, February 07, 2004



How odd, it is just like when you take your car in with a problem that has been happening constantly and then the problem goes away while the mechanic test the car. I have been tracking "Hot Abercrobie Chick" since this morning on the "Fresh Blogs" listing and only 10 minutes ago it has stopped appearing there! Nevermind...



More on the discussion about blog characters as begun on a blog by a cat named Kiwi. I have been carefully watching the traffic on the "Hot Abercrobie Chick" blog. Quite a few folks are writing in on the comments. Also, have you ever noticed that "Hot Abercrobie Chick" is on just about every single refresh of the "Fresh Blogs" on the Blogger Home Page? At first I just thought that the author was republishing every minute. Then I tried it myself--not easy to get on every single one. In fact it is almost impossible. Next, there might be a way to automate this from the outside or there might be a service that does this for you or somebody might be sponsoring this site to get it maximum exposure. It could even be an Abercrobie Fitch campaign or an experiment by Blogger. The comment posting will not register as republish to get it on the "Fresh Blogs". If I was a publicity or marketing agent for a company, I would definitely be trying such strategies. "Amanda" even says that she periodically checks to see who is linking to her site. Next thing I know, I put a link! What power! I fell for the gimmick. Not only that, I like the gimmick so I will leave the link. Okay, its time for another cup of coffee. Anybody care to join me?


Coffee with Blog Please

Yes, who really is who? I see lots of fronts. I guess it's good excercise. One must realize just where they are. And, this Notebook computer sucks big time. It has been "repaired" but now has developed a new problem as windows 2K continually goes into memory dump. I will be very surprised if it makes it through this post. I want to kill it except for the fact that it looks so good. It might be worth just carrying it around. I guess it will not crash if I don't turn it on, right? Yeah, it does look good.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004



I still would rather go with the least costly legal way to dispose of my remains. I really do not want to have a marker to continually indicate and remind (nobody) of my lifelessness. It is such a waste. And who is it for? Certainly not me. If my remains are burnt, I don't care to have them spread over the ocean or anything like that. That is so silly. Why do we continue to do such silly things? Who is it all for?

Continually I am disappointed in my lack of ability to latch on to this thing that keeps presenting itself as reality. Just because it is fairly consistent, it thinks somehow that that makes it special and worthy of prominence. Also, what is it with my brain--why do I get so fascinated with sentences that use two "that" words in a row?

When they burn you, do they put you in a box or do they just shove you in there? If they must waste a box, I think just a plain pine box would be beautiful. It could have knot holes and many imperfections and absolutely no finish (paint, stain nor varnish). Of course if a box is not required, then simply shoving off into the heat would probably be least wasteful.


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